'Son, eat more bananas – they will do you good'

"That was the first time in my life I had to stop watching, because I feared my heart couldn't take any more. I locked myself in a toilet, covered my ears and looked at my watch. When I thought the 94th minute had passed and I hadn't felt the stadium trembling again, I came back out, but there was still one minute left. I couldn't bear it."
Borussia Dortmund chairman Hans-Joachim Watzke admits he could not watch as Real Madrid CF mounted a comeback in their UEFA Champions League semi-final, vacating his seat alongside King Juan Carlos I for the less salubrious environs of the WC. The German side lost 2-0 on the night but hung on to win 4-3 on aggregate.

"Things could be worse."
FC Bayern München's Thomas Müller smiles after the 4-0 home triumph against FC Barcelona – the biggest margin of victory ever recorded in a UEFA Champions League semi-final.

"I myself scored four goals once. That was in 1990 against [FC Rot-Weiss] Erfurt [now a third-tier team]. It ranks very high in my personal achievements and I certainly won't forget it. One of my goals was similarly brilliant to Lewandowski's – you can all look it up on the internet."
Dortmund coach Jürgen Klopp playfully shares the limelight with his star striker after Robert Lewandowski scored four in Dortmund's 4-1 semi-final thrashing of Madrid.

"He was delighted as he said he drank a lot of tea. Mourinho was incredibly pleasant. He said he had come to Fürth because he did not want to rely only on videos."
SpVgg Greuther Fürth president Helmut Hack played host to José Mourinho as the Madrid boss took the opportunity to scout Dortmund in the flesh before the semi-final – presenting the Portuguese with five types of tea as a gift.

"I named him after the best footballer of all time, my idol. I'd been telling my wife Carolina for ages that I would like to give him that name. She didn't want to, but finally she surprised me and accepted the request. I hope he will kick a ball like his father, because doing it like Messi is impossible."
FC Internazionale Milano forward Antonio Cassano explains why he called his son after Barcelona's Lionel Messi.

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"You can't ask for more than what we did today. I'm from Malaga and a lifelong Málaga supporter too. What we've lived today at La Rosaleda is something quite unique. This memory will stay with us forever."
Málaga CF defender Jesús Gámez feels the excitement after his home-town team got to the UEFA Champions League quarter-finals with a 2-0 second-leg victory over FC Porto.

"Ryan Giggs is going to finish when he's 50 years old."
Cristiano Ronaldo pays tribute to his former team-mate, who made his 1,000th Manchester United FC appearance in the 2-1 home loss to Madrid in the quarter-final decider.

"This team is hungry and we always have to be hungry because we've just started eating. We sat at the table last year with the Scudetto, but we've just started eating."
Did Juventus coach Antonio Conte skip a meal ahead of his club's 2-0 home win against Celtic FC in the quarter-finals?

"I have received the commission, but I've never met Balotelli so I am working from photos. I sent him several ideas but Mario wanted to be immortalised in a pose that shows him having scored a goal – highlighting his muscles and with an expression of defiance. I have imagined him as an athlete from ancient times and the statue will be a mix of classical and pop styles – in platinum, coloured bronze, and with eyes made of stones."
Sculptor Livio Scarpella talks reporters through the life-size bronze of AC Milan striker Mario Balotelli which was commissioned to go in the 22-year-old's Brescia home.

"If they're looking for a new James Bond, I wouldn't say that's out of my comfort zone at all."
Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand aimed high as he considers a post-football career as an actor.

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"We have a common goal. We need discipline. It starts with everyone wearing the same socks."
Bayern coach Jupp Heynckes after he fined midfielders Bastian Schweinsteiger and Toni Kroos for the the 1980s fashion crime of wearing white socks – rather than regulation black – at a training session.

"What do we take from this Champions League experience? A lot of beatings."
FC Nordsjælland coach Kasper Hjulmand does not pull any punches when assessing his side's group stage campaign in the aftermath of a 6-1 defeat at Chelsea FC.

"I got a lot of interest in soccer. I asked my man David [Beckham] about Celtic and he was like, 'Yeah, teams don't come much bigger.'"
Rapper Snoop Dogg makes the unlikely revelation that he too is a Celtic fan after Rod Stewart was photographed weeping with joy at Celtic Park following the Hoops' 2-1 group stage triumph over Barcelona.

"We have a great chef. He does dishes like sweet chilli pasta with chicken, but also throws in things like fish fingers which my mum won't cook any more. She says I'm too old for them, but I'm not the only footballer who loves them because if you don't get to the canteen fast enough, they've all gone."
Striker Danny Welbeck reveals the special diet that gives Manchester United's players an extra metre of pace at their Carrington training ground.

"Afterwards I told Gianluigi [Buffon] that he was my hero and it was an honour to face him. He replied that it made him feel very old."
Nordsjælland goalkeeper Jesper Hansen took the opportunity to approach the Juventus No1 after the teams' 1-1 group stage draw.

"From an early age my son was so hyperactive that our doctor told us he had to do a sport to calm him down. Instead of karate, we preferred football for Angelito. Nowadays, if I see that he is tired, I say to him: 'Son, eat more bananas – they will do you good.'"
Diana Hernández – mother of Madrid attacker Ángel Di María – delivers a suitably graphic portrait of her little cherub.

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"Yes, we watch Braveheart, and before every game we also put our kilts on and all dance together."
Celtic's Scott Brown ahead of the Glasgow club's victory at FC Spartak Moskva after being asked by a Russian journalist if the Hoops' pre-game rituals included the tartan-friendly Mel Gibson flick.

"I'm delighted, especially because I have Italian roots, Italian blood. I think today is one of the best days of my father's life."
RSC Anderlecht goalkeeper Silvio Proto, a boyhood Milan fan, celebrates after a string of fine saves earned his side a 0-0 draw at San Siro.

"You can never be sure of a win against a German side until their team bus has left the stadium."
A famous Dutch footballing phrase given new currency after Dortmund struck with three minutes left to beat AFC Ajax 1-0 on matchday one.

"It was in the script that I'd score. When I heard my father had died, the coach and club directors spoke to me and gave me their support. My goal took some weight off obviously, but it does not matter who scores – it only matters that we got the victory."
Told in the hours before kick-off at GNK Dinamo Zagreb that his father had died, Lucho González had every excuse to sit out the encounter in Croatia; instead the midfielder showed professionalism beyond the call of duty, scoring in Porto's 2-0 win.

"Playing in the Champions League is the best thing there is – just incredible. I don't think there can be anything better."
Málaga forward Isco, 21, after scoring twice – including the first goal of the group stage – in a 3-0 pasting of FC Zenit St Petersburg on matchday one.

"I'm especially happy for Jupp Heynckes. If you've played a record-breaking season in the Bundesliga, and if he's able to get the treble in what might be his last season, he can be glad he's 68 and not 28, because you'd have to retire then, too."
Thomas Müller salutes Bayern's outgoing coach after the final.